The cloud of confusions. 

tumblr_m9cbm64ZP21r25xgkThe decisions we take in life are never easy, we all have been there and we all know it. The stress of choosing what we want and what we must have. And often, we choose what we “must” have over what we “want”, because that seems rational, in a good sense. Then we end up disliking what we choose because apparently, we don’t like what we choose because that’s not what we want. But they’re people who likes all the “Musts”. Trust me there are. Example? Well, Parents 😉 . Yeah, I’ve got you on that. LOL.  Alright, before I throw light upon this “controversial – subject” , I just want to say, that I’m not going to cook up stories that’s gonna trigger the taste buds of your wonderful mind, I’m just going to speak truth, as what I think is the truth.

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During my school days, I wish my parents asked for my opinion while choosing the right school for me, I was a brilliant kid, but it wasn’t the pleasant years of my life. I remember when I graduated from High School, my parents bragged to their friends and relatives about how confused they were, then they both agreed they’ve made the right decision, when they selected this particular school. All I did was so cliché,  I went into my room, look at my own reflection in the mirror, and said “Mirror mirror on the wall, who are they kidding after all?”  They choose which school I “must” be then which school they “want” me to be in . I wish my parent’s were not so confused , they they over-thought , well, I believe it could have resulted a better outcome. I wish.  But parents, they just want the best from us. No complains.

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The next step in life, choosing college to continue my journey, well, I finally got the freedom I yearned for but then with limited choices. Yeah, my parents helped me to ease down the overwhelming stress I felt. They said “ Choose what is the best for you” , well what they meant by that is to choose what you “must” have over what you “want” . Yet again, I was confused. What I want? And what I must have? With all the rules and regulations, limitations set by my parents, I finally pick the college that seems promising to me – well not so, but I did enjoy my days in college *thumbs up* . 

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Currently, I’m not doing a job that I would love to do, but I “must” do it. Because for various reasons, the “must” seems logical, good, and always  the positive , but trust me, nothing seems to be the way it is for a long time. I’m pretty sure, if I am to do something I must do and let go something that I want to do, I’m pretty sure, I’ll break down one day, and things will go really bad !  Moral of the story ?

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Always do something you want to do, don’t do something because you must do it. Still it depends on various factors! The most vital factor, you ask me? PARENTS !  But if you have the freedom to do something without anyone’s permission, follow you what you want !

“Just don’t give up trying to do what you really want to do. Where there is love and inspiration, I don’t think you can go wrong.”

Ella Fitzgerald

A little hope in me..

Quite often people give up in almost everything, I am one of them too or rather I would say , I WAS one of them. My journey in life has always been boring, because I live a typical life. And “what’s a typical life ?” you may ask, and my answer will be, “well it differs with people” and well who am I to say                   its the same for all? We all know that since the dawn of time, people have thought differently, acted differently, and fared differently from each other. But, I wouldn’t hesitate to explain my version of “typical life”, and well, It’s a life, that I want to live adventurously , and to the fullest, but.. Yes “BUT”, I’m afraid to take the risks that comes along. 

There was a point in my life, where I was too clingy to the lifestyle I was , living then , food on the table, sleeping on a comfortable mattress and working in a good ( well AC-ed company :P), all these just made me felt good about thr environment and situation I was in that I don’t think it was necessary for me to go out and do something more challenging, something out of the box. As much comfortable I felt, there were always something deep inside of me trying to trigger an unusual interest that I was partially aware of. I felt it every time I felt “happiness” , and it actually made me realize that the happiness was indeed, not the happiness I was searching for. Then, I asked myself ; “What is happiness? How do I define it?”. The thing that came across my mind at that moment was : You know it when you feel it and YES , happiness is not a destination, its part of the journey.  It took me a while to discover what was lacking in my life, and then when I knew what was it, I experienced the roller coaster ride of life. 

I believe when you go on the ride – you come across so many experiences in life and you learn a lot. A lot more than what your parents and teachers taught you, and it makes you a better person. Always. I did experience it, I might not experience every single emotions, but there are few things that really changed me and the way I think. I’ve become someone more matured, and stood on my own feet, taking decisions in life and dealing with it. There will be scary moments in this journey, you’ll be so scared but that’s not the end of it. Like I said, it’s no different than a roller coaster ride, the beginning is always fun, and then everything will turn  360 degrees, and your heart will start to beat fast, super fast and when you reach the point, the scary one, all you want, for it to end soon. And it will end, but what happens next? The brave heart ones, will go for more rides because they love the anxiety they feel while the weak ones freak out, and vowed to never go on the ride again. 

Don’t ever give up on your dreams, and most important – your life. It’s once in an existence affair and nothing can beat the feeling of feeling alive. Nothing is more precious that this gift God has given us. Treasure it, make the best out of it and go on , live a life ! Stand in-front of the mirror, and admit it , admit the fact of how proud you’re of yourself, of everything that you’ve come through, and you’re ready for all the obstacles you’ll come across in your life. Because you’re still here, reading this, you’re so strong and you’ll always be this strong, trust me , when I say this. 

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**till we meet again next time, xoxo ! *bhaaagoooooo* ..

5 People That I will Never Forget.

  As long as we live, we are prone to meeting new people, and these people often be our friends, or quite common – ENEMIES. *A little flashback*  You met a kid in primary school, you played together, you both get along so well, years past and now he or she is your childhood a.k.a best friend a.k.a partner in crime and what not *phew*. Then new phase of your life begun, college and work mate came into your life , and not to forget the arc nemesis, you’ve got during this period.  Well, apparently, they all came from the same place “The stranger zone”. No matter who they are and where they’re from, their path and yours, somehow crossed, and things are never the same again. I too, have come across many different kind  of people over the past 2 decades of my life,  and they have affected me , in one way or another ( some super good, some too bad and the rest comes in between :P) .The thing about them is that I CAN NEVER EVER FORGET THEIR EXISTENCE , *beat that 😛 * .

 

1. The Sweet and Handsome Hunk. 

GIRLS ! I am sure you know who I am talking about *winks* and I know some of you guys are of this kind *blows kisses* :P.

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The sweet and handsome hunks are normally the ones that are super famous in the school, college or office, but they are down to earth ! I know like a few of them, ( one from, school, a couple of them from college, and one from my office). Among all of them, there’s one who is my all time favorite – PS: he is currently my best friend too ;). He’s got a charming personality like Siddharth Malhotra, and a heart like Christian Bale ( well, if you’re wondering why the Batman’s heart I am talking about, not his sexy looks – GOOGLE IT 😛 ).  This particular friend of mine, was my junior in college, okay, I was just one Semester ahead of him , ahem and when he joined, I was the secretary for Social Science faculty and I was in charge of handling the orientation. He was in my team and we somehow clicked, became friends. e2d0af3f6c71ee318abde83c40c82871He’ll drop me at my hostel, stay up with me while I am studying for my exams, he’ll hold my shopping bags, cheer me up when I am sad, and gives me bear hugs when I need it. The awesome thing  is that his girlfriend is super cool too 😉 We hang out often and he knows how to actually make two girls to be friends with each other, *toughtumblr_miau1uDVTf1qhb4bko2_250 job haan 😉 * . And certainly the best part of him is definitely, his charming smile. Never angry, always positive and all he wanna do is to make me smile *melts*.

 

 

 

2.  The Sweet (Evil & Fake) Little Sister. 

Now boys, welcome to the “bro-zone”. and girls, welcome to the “sisterhood of the tight skinny pants that never fits any normal body” phew :/ . Yes. These are the girls that actually goes around the school, college or office preying for someone to be their bro or sister and torture you emotionally ( not sure about all, but at least that’s what I went through :/. Well found one in college , she told me her tumblr_mjk9pau4h81qbch4xo1_1280df*dukhi kahani* or you know some lame sad story,and the next thing I know,I became her personal diary.She’ll come along with me, everywhere I go ! At first, she was a complete hunny bunny sweet pumpkin dumpling chicken curry and what not. But it wasnt long before she transformed into Rebecca Evans from “Roommate”. She was literally behaving like I was her girlfriend and she owns me. TERROR ! tumblr_m8ons5Icgo1rujbfbMY INBOX WAS FILLED WITH HER DAILY AGENDA and my dinner is her story telling time ! It was torture , torture and more torture ! I wants able to go anywhere without bumping into her, and there was times where she would insist to sleepover at my home. I had to come up with so many reason ( I know I sound mean, but trust me I wasn’t the mean one to be honest 😐 ) I literally prayed to get rid of her, and I had to plan my way to classes without bumping into her.And one fine day, GOD  listened to my prayers, she got a new sister ! YIPPEEE !

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3. The Supermodel Wannabe. 

School, college or office hallways are always the  runways. Too much ways there :/. You know who I am talking about. The TYRA BANKS, KATE MOSS, MIRANDA KERR and even Kareena Kapoor wannabes , that wears tonnes and tonnes of make ups ( although it’s against school rules, they just don’t give a damn).  tumblr_m8k3iucbXY1qgj9sro1_500

There was this particularly in my high school and I was literally eww-strucked by her attitude ! She was a very beautiful girl, but she carried herself like a VS supermodel, and that irritates me the most. Being a prefect was a cool job till the moment I had to deal with her, She never failed to piss me off  and I never failed to control my emotions.

Deeply I was literally doing this :P
Deeply I was literally doing this 😛
It was certainly a tough phase but I never gave up and finally I managed to change something about her and that was forcing her to wear a “camisole” over her bikini post-49225-tiffani-thiessen-hot-tub-gif-I-yGAutop as the school uniform was super transparent ( it was an unforgettable sight for the boys 😛 ). And now, her Instagram are filled with her pictures ( not ordinary pictures, I am telling you 😉 , too much happening in every single pictures of hers, and I am very happy for her , that finally, her all time dream , has eventually became a reality for her . * Giggles out loud* .

 

 

4. The Nerdy Becky. 

These are the ones that belongs to the World Library Society, the bookworm, the geeks, the caterpillar that became butterfly200_s (1) and also the ones that made our lives miserable by being super good at what they do, the ones that gets high-ranking in school and colleges, they’re also the ones that gets promoted the quickest in the office. And I’ve come across one Nerdy girl who actually made me to be someone so competitive in whatever I do. Yes, for without her, I would have been upgraded from “doubled-couch” potato to a “5xxxx couch” potato. *sighs in relief* . But she was a little more than extreme, and she wanted was 100 for every single subject , PS ; we were in primary school :/ . There was once, where I scored the highest in most subject and came first in the school, and well as expected, she told this to her parents and it was a big deal in school.tumblr_mtef89GFMy1s1ncoso1_500 As I was improving in every single test, she was hating me even more and I was loving it, literally :P. And Primary was over and the result was out, and I’ve got Straight A’s while she got 4’s and 1 B’. GOSH.  Btw, she’s married now. I’m glad she would be so happy to know she is ahead of  me in that. *ROFL*

5. The Drama Queen 

Finally, coming down to my soul sisters, ( hmm yeaah definitely,  I am a  not typical over exaggerating drama queen, yeaaah baby I’ve got my limits :P). Have you ever come across someone who literally lived a life of Bollywood, Hollywood and every Fantasy-wood ? Oh yes, I did. And It was NIGHTMARE  ! tumblr_lnssm5fHUG1qdvraco1_500 Yes, not only mine, but this one particular girl from my college was literally a drama queen as she would make every little issue as a big deal, even losing 20 cents seems to be a big tragedy to her.  And when there is no lunch for her, she would start a drama as if she was in Afghanistan and have been hungry for a couple of days – HEIGHTS ! I SWEAR she inhales drama, exhales drama, and drama runs in her soul, and I am very sure her blood group is D – ( Drama – LOL).ok_080713_the-hills-drama I still remembered a time when she was being the hot topic in college, and everyone was basically gossiping about her, and one day, I sat along one group that was against her , and she saw that. And to cheers to my bad luck, I had to take so much from her. Yes, she called me a backstabber, a not good friend and what not. It was annoying but it was super funny too 😛 😛 ( I was actually holding my laugh 😛 )  !  That was the day I stopped talking to her. And I know, where-ever she is now, I am sure she is over-flowing her drama. I guess right now, she must be complaining about how super cold the AC is.

 

All the above stories are from real incidents :P. People and the way they’re, have taught me so many things that I won’t be able to learn in books or articles. Yes, these are my real life lessons. I have no intention of saying bad stuffs about anyone, but it’s just stories that I would like to share with everyone. And yes, that is the reason, why I’ve not included name and the physical description of whom-ever in the stories above, and yes, if you’re reading this now, I would like to say thank you for being a part of my life, I gained lots of priceless experiences that made ME a better person. Thank you again from the very bottom of my heart <3.

I have known the joy and pain of friendship. I have served and been served. I have made some good enemies for which I am not a bit sorry. I have loved unselfishly, and I have fondled hatred with the red-hot tongs of Hell. That’s living.
Zora Neale Hurston

In my own “world”.. 

This is neither one of my funny posts, nor a serious one. It’s just something that I would share with the world. 


I’m not a person that gets scared easily, neither the one that loses her mind at every bad happenings  nor I ignore it. I pay attention to every details of it, missing nothing, sometimes I jot them down , in a memo pad, somewhere, in my brain. I often work on it and make it better, and oath to not repeat the same mistake, ever, again. But then, I often fail in one particular subject, the one which is way more difficult than Calculus. Funny it sounds – its commonly known as “ the art of reading faces”. I came along my way, knowing many people, but just a few, turned out to be who they say they are. And I’m proud to have known them in my life , well among the people in masks, I’ve found genuine ones! 

But the fact that I know some humans are trustable, at a point wasn’t really helping me to diminish the fear I had inside of me. The fear of investing my time and feelings on the wrong person ( or a group) .  I bet everyone knows how it feels when your heart is broken.  The pain is so real, that you actually think there is someone sticking knife on your heart. As terrible it sounds, the feeling of it, is  always gazillionth times worst! Now, imagine me, going through that , over and over again, like a cycle. HELL ! I’m not trying to project myself as a victim here, but I’m just sharing stuffs – * I never thought , this could be so difficult :/ *

Well, I am not saying that I am a super nice person, but I know I won’t be able to make someone’s life a living hell. I’m not a backstabber. And I always protect my friends. I stood by these “good people” during their worst days – and they  still choose to go away, in an ugly situation. Broke my trust and heart :/ , worst made me felt so dumb, and had me doubting my own judgement *Gosh how people change, like so fast* . Most of them often seem to be naive and sweethearts, and when their mask are ripped off, they turned out, to be a devil in disguise.  The sad thing is that, I believed the mask they were wearing as the truth, and judged them, based on their fake personality ( well, of course , I don’t know it was fake back then 😛 ). Disappointments kept pouring in my life, that at a point,  I gave up judging and trusting people, from quickly, to not at all. 

But as usual, that too, didn’t last long. Yes, I’ve started to trust people, again, but my previous experiences, became a huge help in my process of judging people. Most of the time, I was right. And yes,  I’ve learned lessons, lots of lessons. First and foremost, I’ve learned that human feelings are not constant.  I’ve learned that, the sweetest, and nicest ones are often the devil in disguise. I’ve learned that I need to make peace with myself, when I make mistakes. And I’ve also learned that, I am my own best friend, and I am the only one that knows me better than anyone, and I must put myself at the top place in my priority list. 

As time flies, and I grew older, many things came into my mind. I’ve started to realize that whatever happened, happened for a very good reason. And for that reason , I’ve escaped from the worst mistake I could make , in my whole – and that is having “toxic” people around *I’ve happily detoxified my life now :P* .  And all that happened, taught me many good things, that will be my guideline, throughout my life journey. My experiences have shaped me into who I am today, and made me a stronger person. Someone that I am proud off.   Well, life is not a straight road. Without the curves and loops, we’re not going to be grateful when we reach the destination. 

I would love to spend time with my good friends, but to be honest, I actually prefer to spend most of my time, alone. It makes me feel more secure and gives me a peaceful state of mind. And I love being in my own world. 

Running to a Rainbow.. 

New hopes ! New dreams ! – New Year ! Happy New Year !! I can’t believe we’re already on the sixth day of the year, and I feel like time is moving fast. Still not sure if it’s the time, me or just some solar system phenomenon 😛 . 

And speaking about New Year, there must be new resolutions too, therefore I’m gonna list down the resolutions I made this year 😉 : 

  1. Sleep less.. 
  2. Eat more..
  3. Waste more money..
  4. Stop working out.. 
  5. Resign from the current job.. 

And the list goes on..  

Gosh that was a tough one ! It took me *counts fingers* , argh , I really cannot figure it out, but roughly I think it took me – 5 MINUTES ! Oh yeah, you read it right 😛 .. Well, as we all know, resolutions are made so that we’ll never follow it , so whatever we write in our “Book of Resolution”,  don’t really matter. I’m not saying that ALL of us wouldn’t follow it, but seriously, it’s easier to count the number of people that are determined to accomplished their “ Mission Resolution” , then the ones that follows it. Well, all of them,  are indeed couch potatoes *raises hand, that includes me, hehehe – grins like ronald mcdonald* 😛 .

Based on the facts, you’ve read above 😛 ,  I’ve decided not to write any resolutions this year. Argh, not at all ! But that doesn’t make me a doubled couch potato 😛 ( I created this term – doubled couch potato, *raises eyebrow* cool isn’t it? 😉 😛 ) . I am just going to work them rather than writing down what I want to do, without doing a single thing to work it. It’s easier to write and pretend like I’m on some mission impossible thingy – who am I kidding? ( I really wish I was as hot as Tom Cruise, if I was a guy :/ , but I think its not late for a gender change operation – LOL JK , hehehe :/ *looks around like a thief 😐 * . 

Back to my “doubled couch potato” chapter, what I am saying is that, stop wasting that ink, and save the trees by not writing your resolutions on a piece of paper – when you know you not gonna do it ! :/ . I mean just stop this whole resolution fuss and just start doing it ! -_- , I know you’ll be able to do it, because I did, and it feels great. But in the end of the day – you’re the one to decide what you want to do in your life, so it doesnt really matter what I’ve wrote above 😛 . 

Happy New Year , Peeps ! Keep doing things that you love. Care less about what people think about you and never stop loving yourself 😉 ❤ . 

Till the next time we meet *counting days* … Ciao 😉 *bhaaaaagoooooooo* 😛 😉 

Title? Gosh not now.. 

Finally *phew* !

 Alright, not the first time I am writing on a blog, I have too much of them, *coughs*, well , guess sometimes we just got to start from scratch 😉 . Oh well, not gonna write an essay about myself, guess let me be “the one with the mask” 😉 , but I know my friends are reading this right now, yeah my fidus Achates, I love you all, now zip your mouth, i’ve got my eyes on you *raise the eyebrow* , okay not scary but it was fun. LOL. Anyways, if you’re looking for some sophiscated writing, Uh-no, you’re in the wrong nest, it’s on the other side of Google *giggles*. Okay, yeah I know, not funny -_- . Perhaps, I can write all these in a diary, but what’s the fun of writing in a book and keep it under your pillow or ( some other secret place 😉 😛 ) well, you know gonna send it to some recycle centre, and your book of dramas gonna vanish into a heap of recycling papers. Well, I won’t be able to bear that *black stream flowing from my eyes*, there goes my L’oreal , *the quote was certainly right, women tears are indeed EXPENSIVE*. *Snaps back into the scribbling process* – this is what keeps me content, and I love writing ( although sometimes it makes complete no sense, but who really cares? Atleast not me 😛 ) . 

Till the next time we meet *counting days* … Toodles 😉 *bhaaaaagoooooooo* 😛 😉